I'll Give you Everything
by 8armstoholdyou
Summary: Set in Lazarus Rising. Jimmy and Castiel get to know each other. Castiel experiences feelings for the first time. Eventually going to be a series. If people bother me about it, it'll go faster.
1. Chapter 1

When sharing a mind, it's easy to get to know one another.

Jimmy knew his thoughts weren't private. His intentions were known. Anything he was thinking could be commented upon. His dreams could be picked apart. His emotions, even. Similarly, Jimmy received a near-constant stream of information – general thoughts and feelings – from Castiel.

Sometimes, it was hard to tell who had any one thought. Instead of being separate entities, Vessel and Angel, they had morphed together to become a singular person – thing. Jimmy-and-Castiel. Castiel could hide his thoughts if he so chose, but most of the time he didn't bother. There was enough trust in their relationship that both Cas and Jimmy thought freely and often.

Before Castiel had gripped Dean's shoulder and pulled him out of Hell, he didn't talk to Jimmy much. He didn't think much. He didn't think much of Jimmy's thinking, either.

Jimmy, growing tired of thinking at a brick wall, was starting to feel unsure of his sanity when Castiel saved Dean. Castiel's first independent thought rang out then; _Dean Winchester has been saved._

If Jimmy suspected there was something wrong with Castiel's sudden ability to think on his own, it was never mentioned. Jimmy-and-Castiel had seen the whole of Dean's life during that trip back up to the surface. Every single moment, every one of Dean's thoughts, every word he ever said. It changed them.

Before being possessed by an angel (or "chained to a comet," as he liked to say), Jimmy had had a theory regarding love. It went like this: If you could see someone at their most vulnerable, if you could see what they never wanted other people to see, you would have no choice but to fall in love with them. There is no one person for you; if you spend enough time with someone, no matter who they are, you are bound to love them. Because love isn't a 'spark' or 'fate,' it's being able to see someone's faults. And peoples' faults are what make them perfect.

Jimmy was thinking of this when Castiel said (thought) to him, _"Dean has a lot of vulnerable points. It seems his brother is his biggest."_

_"I guess so,"_ Jimmy replied. _"Blood runs thick in a life like that. Your family is similar, isn't it?"_

_"Angels do love each other, but much less so,"_ was the reply.

Over the next few weeks, it seemed that all thoughts revolved around Dean Winchester.

_"He cannot understand me when I speak in my true voice."_

_ "I wonder why."_

_ "Maybe he is not as special as Michael thinks he is."_

_ "Maybe Hell did something to him."_

_"If I showed him my true form-"_

_ "No, Castiel."_

_"Very well."_ Cas, disappointed, left Dean alone for a time. But then came the worrying_. "He may need our help. He should know who saved him. He should know that I attempted to speak with him."_

_"Then let's visit him."_

_ "I did not receive orders to 'visit him.'"_

Jimmy sighed. _"Just go see the guy. He deserves to know what's going on."_

Cas reluctantly agreed. As he walked into the barn, Dean shot at him. Rock salt_? "Is this how mortal weapons are supposed to work?"_ Cas asked.

_"No,"_ Jimmy replied, just as confused as Castiel.

_"He is attempting to hurt me."_ Cas felt upset.

_"Since when did you have such weird feelings? Just say something. Tell him to stop or something."_

_ "I doubt that would influence his determination to kill me,"_ Cas sulked. He stood directly in front of Dean.

"Who are you?" Dean demanded. His voice, although rough and scary-sounding, clearly betrayed how afraid he was.

_"What do I say?"_ Castiel asked. Jimmy just laughed. Castiel mentally squared his shoulders. "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition," he said quietly. _"Did that sound impressive?"_

_"Sure, Castiel."_ Jimmy was doing his best to be encouraging.

Dean's eyes narrowed and his lip curled up. "Yeah, thanks for that," he growled.

Castiel nodded, pleased. _"He is happy with my efforts!" _

"_He doesn't look very happy, Castiel,"_ Jimmy warned. Castiel had never really seen emotion on a person's face, so he judged words by face value alone. Except for Jimmy's, because Cas could also feel Jimmy's emotions. Dean drove a knife deep into Jimmy-and-Castiel's chest. Jimmy could feel how upset Castiel was at this.

"_Was that necessary?"_ Cas smiled as best he could, still trying to seem friendly, and pulled the knife out, dropping it on the floor. Dean looked horrified. An old man (Dean's friend, Bobby) attempted to hurt Castiel and he grabbed the blade, putting Bobby to sleep_. "Was that a good thing or a bad thing to do?"_ he asked Jimmy.

"_I think it was bad. Dean looks more scared than ever, if that's even possible. You should say something else, people don't usually stay silent like that."_

"_What do I say?"_ Castiel groaned. He turned around. "We need to talk, Dean. Alone."

"_Way to go, Castiel,"_ Jimmy said sarcastically. He made little comments throughout Dean and Castiel's interaction. All went ignored – except one. _"He didn't want to be saved, Castiel."_

"_He DESERVED to be saved. We had ORDERS to save him."_ Castiel was angry.

Jimmy knew from that moment that something was very, very wrong. He knew he felt that happiness deep in his heart, that kind of painful burn that is love. He knew angels were not supposed to feel that. He knew that, in falling for Dean, Castiel was falling from Heaven. Castiel, upon touching Dean, had been broken. And while he understood that Castiel would never act upon his love for Dean Winchester – a love that was stronger than the bond between his brothers and sisters, or even his love for God – Jimmy knew nothing good could come of this.


	2. Chapter 2

Angels don't sleep.

This bothered Jimmy more than it probably should have. Being awake one hundred percent of the time could drive normal humans crazy, but because he had an angel in him Jimmy never felt tired or hungry. The only disturbing part of it was that without sleep, Jimmy was always taking in information. He didn't like it, but there was no other option (aside from Castiel leaving him completely).

Jimmy was thinking about this weird perpetual wakefulness because Castiel was creeping him out. Angels don't sleep, and Castiel frequently had nothing to do during the hours that the Winchesters would be sleeping. So what would he do? He would sit by Dean's bed.

Dean would have awful nightmares almost every night. Castiel could touch Dean's forehead and see into the dream or enter it, but he had no desire to experience Hell. So he would do the next best thing, which was to sing quietly until the nightmare went away. Castiel didn't know a lot of songs to sing to children.

_"Do you know of any lullabies?"_ he asked Jimmy.

_"I guess?"_

_ "Sing them for me."_

Jimmy, either unable or unwilling to argue, rattled off a few lines of a few different songs. _"I don't know any lullabies well," _he admitted. _"My wife used to sing them every night, but I didn't listen very often. I miss her voice…"_

_"Focus on the lullaby,"_ Castiel ordered. When he was met with sadness and anger, Castiel softened a little. _"I apologize for your pain, James. I really am sorry."_ Jimmy bucked up and did his best to think of a lullaby, but couldn't remember a whole one. Castiel sang what Jimmy could remember, not knowing that he was improvising lyrics as he went.

"Hush little baby, don't say a word. Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring. Rock a-bye baby, on the tree top. When the wind blows, the cradle will rock. When the bow breaks, the cradle won't fall, because I will catch you, cradle and all. Twinkle, twinkle, fireworks, how I wonder how you work. Up above the world so high, a big explosion in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle, fireworks, oh I wonder how you work." Castiel's gravelly voice was very different from the cooing coming from mothers with their babies, but it would have to do.

_"Why do you sing to him? Can't you zap the dream away_?" Jimmy asked.

_"I am unable to "zap," as you say, bad dreams,"_ Castiel replied, still singing to Dean. That stubbly, handsome face relaxed and Dean flipped over onto his side, eyes opening a hair.

He sat up, pulling the gun out from underneath his pillow. "What do you – Cas?" His voice went from gruff to simply sleepy in an instant.

_"That was weird,"_ Jimmy thought. Castiel agreed.

"I…apologize," Cas mumbled, looking down.

"What were you doing?" Dean whispered, not wanting to wake Sam.

"You were having an unpleasant dream," Cas began. "I assumed you would want it gone. So I sang to you."

"You sang to me?"

"A lullaby. Jimmy helped me with the words."

_"Oh sure, blame me,"_ Jimmy sighed.

Dean crossed his arms and furrowed his brows, trying to figure Castiel out. Cas, blissfully unaware of the look he was getting, sat contentedly next to Dean's bed.

_"Tell him to go back to sleep,"_ Jimmy suggested, feeling more than a little uncomfortable.

_"You are…flustered,"_ Castiel observed. Jimmy did his best not to think anything. "You should sleep."

Dean nodded, lying down tentatively. Cas stood up, ready to leave. "Cas?"

"Yes, Dean."

"Can you just, uh, keep a watch out for anything dangerous?"

_"He wants me to watch him sleep,"_ Castiel thought. Jimmy felt his nervousness. "Of course."

_"It's like what his mom said when he was a little kid,"_ Jimmy mused. _"Angels are watching over you." _He could feel the sadness in Castiel's heart as the memory hit him.

_"I should not discuss it with him, correct?"_

_ "Right. It'd just make him sad. Like you are now."_

Castiel just sighed. _"Humans are very complex."_

_ "I know."_

Cas decided to spend some time watching more mothers and babies. He couldn't figure out why he didn't love his father or his siblings the same way humans loved their closest kin. What was different in angels that made them feel so much less? Was it an advantage? Is that why angels could live thousands of years while humans would be lucky to live for a hundred?

That must be it, Cas decided. The emotional toll on humans was such that it greatly limited their lifespan. If humans experienced more peace, he reasoned, they would live longer. _"Do humans always look peaceful when they sleep?"_

_ "As far as I know, yeah. Why, you think Dean looks peaceful?"_

Cas was actually thinking about how more sleep (because with sleep comes peace) could prolong a human's life. _"Dean should get more sleep." _Cas went back to the motel room where Dean and Sam were sleeping.

Dean was currently on his stomach, one arm hanging off the bed, face mashed into a pillow. He had a light snore, which would have made Jimmy laugh, if he could. Dean's face was pointing towards Sam, who lay on his side facing Dean's bed. _"They are oddly protective of each other." _Castiel couldn't understand Sam and Dean's relationship. It was too dangerous for him to even think of – all that emotion being exhibited, even in sleep. Jimmy took this as a good sign.

When dawn approached, Dean climbed out of bed. He then walked straight into Castiel, who had been standing in the middle of the room. "Jesus!" Dean yelled, surprised.

Jimmy mentally laughed. _"I told you not to stand there all night."_

"_I was told to watch over him."_

"_There's a difference between protecting someone and stalking them."_

Castiel shot Jimmy an insult in Enochian. "It was not my intent to frighten you," he mumbled to Dean.

"Yeah, whatever Cas." Dean headed off to take his shower as Sam woke up. Jimmy noted the thrills Cas was feeling as Dean said his name. Castiel promptly told Jimmy to stop thinking what he was thinking and hid his thoughts for a while.


End file.
